The Adventures of Cowboy and Ninja

The three scariest words to hear from your best friend, I heard one day, earlier this summer.After a hard day at work, Cowboy and I were relaxing in front of the TV, watching Scrubs. I had propped a pillow against his rib and was resting my head. Being roommates, and sharing a common space, we had struck a routine of coming home, watching Scrubs and family guy while guzzling on fast food, or some Filipino fish that I just “felt like” cooking that day. With tired bodies and filled bellies, an evening on in front of the TV is exactly what the doctor ordered. On one of these evenings, I was dozing off by Cowboy when he said funny at my expense, or something uncharacteristically sweet.

I can’t remember which, at this point. ”Oh, you think you’re cute!” I teased him.

“You Love me for it” he teased, jabbing one pointy finger into my rib. 

“So what?” I said, being difficult.  

He chuckled as though we had exchanged some joke and planted a kiss on my temple. “I love you too” he said, “Now go back to sleep.”

I closed my eyes, and steadied my breath and pretended to be asleep, but my mind was churning. We weren’t drunk, last I checked we were on no truth serum. My heart was pumping in fear. There are some words you can’t put away and pretend they never happened, and they change the entire ambiance of the relationship. We knew that there was more bellow the surface than our friendship showed but so long as we never discussed it.

How long can we suppress this and continue with the status quo? Why should we change such a good thing? 

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